It’s mere hours until Santa Claus must begin his Christmas Eve journey delivering presents all around the world, and all the reindeer are sick! Who should come to the rescue? Why, none other than Ambush Bug! No, seriously.
by Drivtaan Return to chapter list Flash forward to Christmas Day: “I said I was sorry,” Ambush Bug says. “What more do you want?” “Sorry? Sorry?!” Santa is livid. “15,396 reported kidnappings in one night… ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t cover that.” Ambush Bug tugs on his antennae. “You told me no witnesses.” “You moron,” Mrs. Claus . . .Earth-12 on .
by Drivtaan Return to chapter list Santa Claus is at his wit’s end. Christmas Eve is less than a day away, and every reindeer at the North Pole is in the infirmary. “Mrs. Claus,” he says to his wife, “what are we going to do?” “I wish you wouldn’t do that,” she says as she . . .Earth-12 on .
by Drivtaan, Starsky Hutch 76, Libbylawrence, Brian K. Asbury, Blackwolf247, Comickook and Martin Maenza
An accident causes Brainiac of the Legion of Doom to become Pulsar Stargroove, rhythmic leader of the Legion of Funk! But as the Legion dominates the music charts, strange events happen all over the country. Another team of super-villains with a weakness for fruit pies form together as the Host of Badness! Meanwhile, the Super Friends welcome Apache Chief to their number, and the Teen Titans lose their memories! Will all these threads come together to form one coherent plot? Not at all! That’s why we called in Drivtaan to wrap it all up in the form of an ultimate musical showdown — a battle of the bands! You don’t want to miss this bizarre and peculiar attempt at humor by the Five Earths writers!
by Drivtaan Return to chapter list Somewhere beyond space and time, a collection of beings gather. They are the shapers of worlds, the authors of destinies, the givers of life; they are know as the Quintessence. Their garments are varied, and their appearances are obscured by ethereal mists. Draw close and listen as these godlike . . .Earth-12 on .
by Drivtaan Return to chapter list The Super Friends seem a little hesitant as they take their place in front of the judges. Off to the side, several members of the Legion of Funk are snickering, and even the Teen Titans aren’t looking at their mentors with much hope. Green Lantern adjusts the microphone in . . .Earth-12 on .
by Drivtaan Return to chapter list Being the current writer allows me certain bits of information that the characters wouldn’t know, so to move this story along, I give Snapper the location of the Legion of Doom’s… er… I mean the Legion of Funk’s secret headquarters and send him on his way. And lest you . . .Earth-12 on .
by Drivtaan Return to chapter list I blink and find the Teen Titans staring at me. “Sorry about that,” I apologize. “My mind seems to have wandered for a bit.” “For a bit?” Aqualad says. “You’ve been standing there with that blank look on your face for almost ten months!” “Really?” I ask. “It seems . . .Earth-12 on .
by Drivtaan Return to chapter list So, I’m in a large, stark-white room that’s as empty as a blank page. The big question, of course, is where the heck am I? There are no doors, and I don’t see any windows, yet I get the feeling that someone, or several someones (hopefully), is following everything . . .Earth-12 on .
by Libbylawrence and Blackwolf247 Return to chapter list The Chocolate Baron stroked his beard and frowned as he found a remnant of a wholesome dessert pie. He licked his lips and turned to his allies. “The three of us should be able to handle him,” he said. “I have studied his past exploits, and I . . .Earth-12 on .
by Libbylawrence, Comickook and Brian K. Asbury Return to chapter list Meanwhile, back at the ranch (someone had to say it), the Host of Badness enjoyed their evil plans by displaying evil glee via rubbing their hands together and chuckling in typically malicious pleasure. Topsy-Turvy Man was pacing back and forth and gazing down at . . .Earth-12 on .
by Libbylawrence, Brian K. Asbury and Comickook Return to chapter list A strange figure was talking to himself as he made his way to a ranch in the farmlands outside Midvale. He was the studious type, with a wrinkled suit and horn-rimmed glasses. He clucked to himself in apparent disapproval as he walked to the . . .Earth-12 on .
by Starsky Hutch 76, Martin Maenza, Blackwolf247 and Brian K. Asbury Return to chapter list In the Legion of Doom headquarters, Lex Luthor was looking very smug. “You look happy, Luthor,” Gorilla Grodd said as he lumbered into the conference room where Luthor sat at the table with his feet propped up. “I am,” Lex . . .Earth-12 on .
by Dave Barnowski
An old joke gets new life as Cain questions the audience at a lecture on the supernatural.
The classic Christmas poem retold — JSA style!