Captain Comet’s Rehab Squad: The Suicide Squad, Chapter 1: Raw Recruits

by Libbylawrence

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As Captain Comet walked into his office at the Meta-Human Rehabilitation Agency the next day, he was startled to see several odd figures standing alongside Colonel Rick Flag.

“Adam, the government is pleased with what you’ve done, but they want more felons used, to save the tax dollars,” explained Flag, sighing deeply. “These gentlemen and lady will be your new Rehab Squad for the next mission, while Valor and the others are on leave.”

Captain Comet frowned as he saw the new recruits. From the files he’d been briefed on yesterday, he recognized a man in black wearing a hood as the Eradicator, who stood glaring at the others. One bored-looking man in an orange radiation suit he knew to be Neutron sat wearily looking at a man he didn’t recognize in a black hood with a gold-and-white-trimmed costume to match. A female archer with shockingly white hair, a blue suit, and makeup in the shape of a moon on her face watched timidly; she was Moonbow, and he already knew that her real name was Bree Brandon. Finally, Lisa Snart’s brother, Captain Cold, sat off to one side, a smirk on his face.

Clearing his throat, he said, “I am Captain Comet. Pleased to meet you all. If you follow my orders, you will receive benefits and possibly a pardon.”

“‘Pardon’?” snapped Captain Cold arrogantly. “Why, I expect us to be brothers-in-law any day, now.”

The man in gold sneered, “Feeble-minded thugs. They soil me by their mere company.”

“I would gladly kill them all for you, Captain,” said the Eradicator.

And I thought keeping Blossom dressed was tough, mused Comet. “What is the mission, exactly?” he asked Flag.

“A militant anti-Muslim hate group is wrapping itself in the flag and committing hate crimes and terrorism against anyone from the Middle East in the U.S.,” explained Colonel Flag. “This seems aimed at nothing yet, other than racial violence, but with the latest oil embargo and peace talks being held in New York this week, we need to track them down and stop them before any threat to Minister Ghanem can occur.”

“I see,” said Comet. “So does Lyla have any lead?”

“No,” explained Flag, sighing once more. “With all the government-instituted changes to the MHRA, she decided it was her time to leave, and resigned. She said her team spirit had been lacking, anyway, and she said she thought she could serve this world better by not associating formally with any one super-team.”

“I’m sure Harbinger will do well for herself, whatever she does,” agreed Captain Comet. “Anyway, I guess I can track them if we offer them a target they can’t resist. We’ll lure them out with some big, staged speech by a big-shot from the East who is actually one of us in disguise.”

“I’m not wearing any turban,” said Captain Cold.

“You won’t have to wear anything but prison gray, unless you do as you are told,” said Comet. “No, the member of the new Rehab Squad I insist on adding will pose as the target. His name is Christopher Chance — also known as the Human Target.” (*)

[(*) Editor’s note: See “The Assassin-Express Contract,” Action Comics #419 (December, 1972) and others.]

“Great idea,” said Colonel Flag. “Let’s do it. Now, I’ll leave you to get to know your team.” At that, the director of the MHRA left the room.

“Okay, each of you, tell me who you are,” said Captain Comet.

The man in black pulled back his hood to reveal dignified features and graying hair at the temples. “I am former Senator Creed Phillips, now called the Eradicator. I am honored to serve with a great American hero like you.”

“I heard you were dead,” said Comet.

“Naw, the Flash just dusted his tail,” said Captain Cold.

“I can melt you with a touch!” threatened the Eradicator. “In truth, Captain Comet, my lesser half — Senator Phillips — chose to end my existence by turning my own eradication process on me rather than live with the burden of true justice. (*) However, I… reconstituted myself using the strange energies released during the red skies of the Crisis, and was forced to work alongside criminal scum such as these simply to survive until I could rightfully continue my work — and indeed I shall.” (*)

[(*) Editor’s note: See “The Final Purge,” The Flash #320 (April, 1983) and DC Universe: Crisis on Infinite Earths: The Villain War, Chapter 4: Earth-Four Got.]

The girl in blue spoke up. “I am Moonbow. My crimes were giving crooked money to the poor like Robin Hood, who was also what inspired me to become an archer.” (*)

[(*) Editor’s note: See “Moonbow Rising,” The Fury of Firestorm #48 (June, 1986) and “Justice: Lost and Found,” The Fury of Firestorm #49 (July, 1986).]

“I’d actually wanted you on the team long ago,” said Captain Comet with a smile. (*) “Welcome.” She smiled uncertainly in reply.

[(*) Editor’s note: See Captain Comet’s Rehab Squad: Suicide Mission, Chapter 1: The Cardialink.]

“I am Neutron,” the man in the orange radiation suit said. “I once decked Superman himself.” (*)

[(*) Editor’s note: See “The Man Who Murdered Metropolis,” Action Comics #526 (December, 1981).]

“Who won?” quipped Captain Cold. Neutron’s reply was an obscene gesture with his hand, causing Cold to laugh.

“And who are you?” Comet asked the man in gold and white.

“I am Dr. Joel Cochin, three-time Nobel Prize winner,” said the man with a haughty tone.

“Of course,” said Comet. “I’ve read your work. You proposed an intriguing theory on the connection between meta-genes and human potentiality.”

Cochin smiled. “You’ve read my work? You surprise me. The thinking man’s super-hero, I suppose.”

“So, Brainy, ya got a name other than Joel?” asked Captain Cold.

“Paragon,” he replied with a scornful look. (*)

[(*) Editor’s note: See “The Supremacy Factor,” Justice League of America #224 (March, 1984).]

***

Captain Comet watched from the shadows at the rally staged for Middle Eastern Culture with Christopher Chance — the so-called Human Target — posing as the head speaker, Anthony Doss, a middle-aged man in a business suit.

Moonbow crouched high above on a rafter. She was nervous but excited, too. As spoiled campus queen and heiress Bree Brannon, she had only taken up the costumed identity of Moonbow last year for thrills and to give drug money to the needy by stealing it from drug lords. In fact, she had almost been killed by the Mob when Firestorm saved her life, then let her go free. She’d also been shot in the shoulder, which forced her into retirement as Moonbow for several months while she healed.

It was when she finally came out of the woodwork again as Moonbow very recently that she was tracked down by Colonel Flag, who offered her a place on the Rehab Squad instead of allowing her to be arrested for theft and vigilantism.

Bree’s short, platinum blonde hair was usually concealed by a red wig whenever she wasn’t in costume. Her archery skills and acrobatic talents were amazing, yet she had her doubts that she could ever continue operating as Moonbow independently.

Former Senator Phillips turned to Comet and whispered, “Comet, just look at that scum,” he said, pointing toward Neutron and Captain Cold. “I became the Eradicator to wage war on criminals such as they. Let me destroy those vermin.”

“Negative,” ordered Captain Comet. “All life is sacred. If you kill them now, you ruin any chance that they might someday reform and contribute something good to society as productive citizens. That’s why I do this — to offer them that kind of a chance at an honest life.” The Eradicator sniffed disdainfully and turned away.

Paragon scowled. “You know, Comet, my mutant power gives me a slightly higher level of the mental and physical gifts of anyone near me. It’s strange, but having your mental advancement does make me feel differently about people. I used to merely look down upon everyone else, since I’ve always been the smartest person in the room. Now, however, I see that was short-sighted, and that even those of lesser intellect have qualities that contribute in their own ways. Of course, when I am not in range of your advanced mind, I’ll go back to my old, hateful ways. It’s quite ironic, isn’t it?”

“If you can change for the better, then do it,” said Adam Blake. “Don’t let yourself give in to weakness and relapse into your old ways.”

Captain Cold had his own ideas. Lisa, if this gets me a pardon, then fine! he thought. But that Comet you love is just like the Flash — nothing more than a stiff Boy Scout. I can’t say I’ll go out of my way to help him.

Neutron merely waited nearby, eager for a fight after being in stir for so many months. Then all the Rehab Squad members stopped their individual musings as colorful figures suddenly swooped down to surround Anthony Doss.

“Step aside! A real American wants the mike!” shouted a hulking blond man wearing white and blue.

That’s Major Victory from Mayflower’s old team, the Force of July, Captain Comet realized. It all makes sense. They’ve always been motivated by militant pro-Americanism to a fault.

Near the Major stood the tall and elegant Lady Liberty in her Statue of Liberty gown and crown. Although she was French, she loyally supported her team. “Let ze Major speak, I beg of you!” she pleaded in a strong French accent. “Or I will be forced to use my torch.”

A teenage punk called Sparkler laughed, sending sparks arcing toward Doss. “I’ll move this foreigner for you, Lady L,” he said.

Without warning, Anthony Doss spun around and kicked Sparkler flat, then rolled backward off the stage to land on his feet and sprint to safety as Captain Comet had ordered him to do.

Good job, Chance! thought Adam Blake. “Now it’s up to us!” he yelled to his team. The man known as the Human Target smiled and waved his farewell.

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