Captain Carrot and the Zoo Crew: Crisis from Earth-L, Epilogue: For Scent-imental Reasons

by Comickook

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As the War-Ender struggled in vain against the chains he was put in, the combined mystic energies of What’s-Up-Doc, PoultryGhost, Duck L’Orange, Witchbolt, and Alley-Kat-Abra returned the Martian villain to his dimensional limbo prison surrounded by an aura that would guarantee that it would take at least five hundred years for him to get back enough of his strength to escape again.

“Well, that’s that — one more villain foiled, and at least two worlds saved,” Captain Carrot said. He looked What’s-Up-Doc in the eyes and added thoughtfully, “Look, Doc, I really am sorry about my little outburst earlier concerning your skunk friend going after Abra. That wasn’t your fault. I just overreacted.”

“Ehhh, dat’s OK, Cap. Ya were jest a bit peeved by Skoit Chasa makin’ a play fer yer goil, ‘specially ’cause she didn’t like it too much, eitha,” What’s-Up-Doc said matter-of-factly. “I’ve seen the way ya ‘n’ da cat have bin eyein’ each udda when ya t’ink nobody else is lookin’, ‘n’ I don’t need ta be clairvoyant ta know dere’s sumt’in magical — no pun intended — between ya two.”

“Speaking of which…” Bunny-Goddess started as she sauntered over to What’s-Up-Doc, lifted up part of his helmet, and quickly kissed him on his left cheek before continuing, “…that’s for caring enough to get some of those dragons off my case.”

What’s-Up-Doc’s normally golden helmet turned mostly red from the intensity of the mystic-powered rabbit’s blush, but as soon as he shook it off, he and Captain Carrot shook paws good-naturedly.

Meanwhile, Skirt Chaser was gently kissing Yankee Poodle on her right paw and extending a courtly bow as he said, with tears of sincere regret, “Well, Mademoiselle Yankee Poodle, I’m afraid I must be returning to my universe with my comrades, but I’m certain our paths will cross again someday.” He may have struck out with Abra, but in the end that was for the best, the over-amorous super-speedster skunk thought to himself.

“Thanks for the warning, Frenchie,” Rova Barkitt said in her usual wiseacre tone. However, she kept her paws covering enough of her face to mask a pleasantly embarrassed smile and a slight blush.

“Oh, great, looks like we’ve got another cross-universe romance in the making,” Pig-Iron grunted.

“Hey, hey, hey, I got over my crush on Wonder Wabbit months ago,” Captain Carrot responded truthfully.

“Well, if we’re all done with the long goodbyes, let’s get back to our universe,” Duck L’Orange said. “It’s getting late, and I promised Molly I’d pick up a few groceries on the way back from wrapping up this LST business.”

At that, Duck L’Orange, What’s-Up-Doc, PoultryGhost, and Witchbolt pooled their mystic energy so that the seven LSTers could make the return trip.

***

Back on Earth-L, the Looney Society of Toomerica’s seven big guns returned to find their nine teammates also just returning from their own adventure. “So, how did things go ‘gainst Vandal Sam?” What’s-Up-Doc asked curiously.

“To tell the truth, Doc, the battle was a little tougher than we thought it would be, but we still prevailed,” Chop-Suey explained. “You see, that red-haired immortal hothead found a way to, without our knowledge, recruit the aid of Merr Fuddton, Think-Tank, Solomon Gossamer, Head-Hopper, Conjuror Kitty, Toro Blitzkrieg, and Iceheart Canasta, as well as one hundred genetically enhanced thugs.”

“You should have seen how that battle went,” said a black-furred, very young-looking male cat garbed in a gold bodysuit with bright red gloves and boots as he pointed proudly at Catnap. “Ohhh, it was ever so exciting,” said Sylvester J. Pussycat, Jr., alias Snoozy. “You should have seen how father used his smoke-and-move maneuvers to get Solomon Gossamer, Toro Blitzkrieg, and Conjuror Kitty into taking each other down.”

“You thee, son, that’th why I thtill like to thneak around with the trenchcoat and thmoke,” Catnap said to his son, who was also his crime-fighting partner. “There are timeth when thtealth workth a lot better than brute forthe.”

***

Back on Earth-C, two hours later:

Rodney Rabbit was just finishing getting his tie straight and gave himself one last look in the mirror. With an approving nod, he finally decided he was ready for that night on the town he and Felina Furr had been planning for the past week. This was the three-month anniversary of their first actual date, which was about one week after the battle with the Nasty Menagerie. They had planned an evening of dinner, dancing, and theater to celebrate. Indeed, they did have cause to celebrate; the world was relatively safe, all the known super-criminals were in jail, and Rodney had met his latest deadline two days earlier. As Felina, garbed in a very tasteful blue gown, accepted Rodney’s offered arm, the two headed out of the Z-Building.

Shortly thereafter, Byrd Rentals came up to Rova Barkitt and asked, “Still thinking about that one skunk, huh?” Byrd was serious, but he asked this in a sarcastic tone for the sake of Rova’s ego.

“Well, at least I didn’t fall head-over-webs for a criminal, Mr. Rentals,” Rova responded in a tone of good-natured ribbing.

“Hey, Samantha is a reformed criminal, and yeah, I will be glad when she gets out next week,” Byrd responded truthfully. Yes, he did still occasionally flirt with other females, but just enough to maintain his playbird image. Even then, he kept his dealings with those other females strictly look-but-don’t-touch over the last eight months (well, beyond friendly paw or wing shakes and signing autographs). That, combined with the weekly care packages Byrd discreetly sent Samantha Drake, told his teammates — especially Rova — that he had it bad for this one more than his usual amorous pursuits.

That was why he was glad not only when he found out for certain that she really was determined to clean up her act, but that, in light of her help in defeating the Nasty Menagerie, she had her prison sentence commuted from ten years with the possibility of parole to less than seven months.

“You do realize, of course, that you haven’t exactly had the best of luck with her,” Rova said teasingly.

“Well, not at present, there is just something about her that makes her worth the hassles of a long-term relationship,” Byrd admitted before leaving.

Before he left the room, however, Byrd jokingly said, “Don’t forget to tell the Skirt Chaser I said hi when you meet him in your dreams.” To this, Rova could only growl mockingly as she threw a pillow at Byrd.

***

Amalgams used in this fifth-rate piece of garbage we jokingly call a story:

  • Looney Society of Toomerica: Justice Society of America and the Looney Tunes gang
  • What’s-Up-Doc: Doctor Fate and Bugs Bunny
  • Duck L’Orange: Golden Age Green Lantern and Daffy Duck
  • Bunny-Goddess: Golden Age Wonder Woman and Lola Bunny
  • Skirt Chaser: Golden Age Flash and Pepe Le Pew
  • PoultryGhost: The Spectre and Henery Hawk
  • Sniffles Thunder: Johnny Thunder and Sniffles
  • Witchbolt: Thunderbolt and Witch Hazel
  • Moon-Howler: Golden Age Starman and Wile E. Coyote
  • Chop-Suey: Golden Age Black Canary and Petunia Pig
  • Miracle Mouse: Golden Age Hourman and Speedy Gonzales
  • Catnap: Golden Age Sandman and Sylvester the Cat
  • Snoozy: Sandy the Golden Boy and Sylvester Junior
  • War-Ender: the Stalker and Marvin the Martian
  • Vandal Sam: Vandal Savage and Yosemite Sam
  • Merr Fuddton: Per Degaton and Elmer Fudd
  • Think Tank: the Brain Wave and Cecil Turtle
  • Solomon Gossamer: Solomon Grundy and Gossamer
  • Head-Hopper: the Thinker and Hippity-Hoppity
  • Conjuror Kitty: Golden Age Wizard and Claude Cat
  • Toro Blitzkrieg: Baron Blitzkrieg and Toro the Bull
  • Iceheart Canasta: Golden Age Icicle and Nasty Canasta

The End

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